Ditties by Deviva

Love has twisted me
and made me vulnerable

Divided against
my will to be remote
and my desire to let go

Once a speck
on my horizon
now you obstruct
both sky and sun

Yet little remains within me
to undo what I have done

He says that when I die

His soul will still be searching

For mine

Telling you I loved you
Was the kiss of death

You said you had waited
…so long

To hear those words
In return

When they finally came
I slowly felt your joy
Erode into scorn

Telling you I loved you
Was a mistake

An unnecessary risk
I chose to take

The moment when
I told you too much
and the line went still

The moment you thought
its not worth the thrill

I felt my hold
run down the drain
feeling the slow burn
of desire get doused
with pain

So we finally came together
but the build up was so much better
the way you are
makes me smile again
and again

there was nothing better
than the conversation
we had while
still joined

you cared for every detail
made me feel
so very beautiful

the threads of so many cellos
echo through the mountain range
of my emotional landscape
they soar on wispy wings
of mist and thunder

searching
for a space
of rest
peace
and unity
of spirit

soon they tire
landing on rocky crags

                                                 You and I
                                            both jumped off
                                        the deep end together

                                           You to one degree
                                            And I to another

                                                  For that
                                            we shall always
                                                 be sisters

Rescue me
moment by moment

Pull me
out of myself
into your reality

Make everyday
a new eternity

Embrace me
while I am still cloaked
in darkness

Remind me
of your continued
strength over
my weakness

And though I have done
These unmentionable things

Afterward
It feels like I haven’t
Or maybe
I simply dreamed them

You left me with
a fistful of words
crowding my mouth

The dancing forms
are not what they
once meant
so long ago

The music no longer
takes me to
that special place
the lights only shine
on features of disgrace

It means nothing
without you here
the high of the night
ever out of reach

My movements
leaden
my charisma
wilted

Your fading memory
in the distance

So I will see him tonight
and he will embrace my pain

He will take it
again and again

He will place me
in high regard
with him I won’t
have to try
nearly as hard

He will ask me
no questions
so I can
drop my guard
as my emotions
are soothed

His simple presence
will make all things new

Your foot
crushes my chest
you blot out the sun
with your shadow

My breath comes
in strained rasps
totally taken aback
by this swift
heartless action

Where is the man
who held me close
where is the man
who I held above most

Now you simply snicker
as I cry in a whisper
to fearful to let
my emotion run down
my face

Your words
are barbed flame
they sear my soul
causing damage
that goes untold

My heart crumples
under their weight
my smile sinks
under your mean grin

I didn’t think
we’d be here
again…

Laid out in front of me
they bleed out
in high definition color
each one competing
in varied flavor

I contemplate them
running them through
my fingers in turn

This madness must end
before something burns

I have it all in my hands…

Happiness dancing
on my fingertips

A circle of love
and relations
that run deep

So why singe it in fire
why test the bonds
why hover precariously
on the edge of obliteration?

I guess the years
have taken their toll
and I now find comfort
in frustration

Clothing myself
in conflicting emotions
hiding behind a facade
of love and devotion

…I am posting waayy to much today.  So I will stop now…lol

You lifted me
cornered me
gave me little choice
but to give in
let you in

But I resisted
just enough
to remain
unblemished

Your eyes stare
torn at me
divided between
the need to claim
and proceed
honorably

I stare at my skin
branded forever
one night
one choice
never to be forgotten

With every kiss..
touch,
thrust,
you echo
unbidden
in my mind

I can’t throw you out
as hard as I try

roggyscanvas replied to your post: I know comparing coffee and love is a bit…

Bleugh coffee :P

Ha!  I knew you were gonna say somethin’ bout my love of coffee.  I almost tagged you in my post just to get under your skin…lol.  Ah Froggy Roggy you just don’t know what your missing. 

Would that I could make you a succulent cappuccino like I experienced living in Rome you would most certainly change your stance.

I know comparing coffee and love is a bit cliche…but I can’t help it.  To me Coffee and love go together like cookies and cream, honey and tea.  Now I know I sound so very trite, but yum!  

I often measure my moments and days by exquisite cups of coffee…sigh

You fill me
with energy and smiles
every morning
like a frothy latte
you cling to my lips
so softly wrapping
round my mouth
lacing my tongue
with delicate flavor

I wrote this song while I was living in Rome, Italy.  It was inspired from a family member who got married for all the wrong reasons.  I’ll be posting the song later this weekend.


Verse One
You’ve cut my youth short
With your love
You turned your life round
To support me
You might not have stayed
Something deeper gave way

we made something
from what’s not meant to be

Chorus  
One room house
One room heart
No room to grow
Just time to start
Stop being a girl
And face the world
It’s hard but its love
In my one room heart

Verse Two
Smoke from your ash
Shrouds our eyes
Your thoughts sometimes
Leave me behind
But I’ll your side
When it’s our love
That you hide

Bridge  
tonight when your hand
Presses into my spine
I’ll love you back
I’ll give you back
All that I can
All that I am
       
Till I cry from inside
You’ll know its me
There with you
When you find my eyes
You’ll collapse into me
Breath into me
       
The worst is over we’ll make it over
The worst is over we’ll make it over

…and one more poem before I go

If only I can realize
how special I am
how uniquely
and beautifully
the universe vibrates with
and around me

…that’s ok

If only you can see
what lies within me
in my complex diversity

If only you alone
can understand
my strangeness
while smiling without reprimand

I am blessed in the world
to share myself almost
completely with

a listener

an observer

a companion

a lover

even if you are
a man of few words…

thesealivesinme replied to your photo: Packin’ up the gear after the gig. Not exactly the…

So you are adores signal singer?

I’m not sure what you mean by “adores signal”, but I am the lead singer of two local bands.  I’ll be posting a new original track soon, a kinda crazy one :p

Just a reminder to all those who are new to my blog…this is a poetry and music blog..so just don’t be surprised.  Who knows what else it will morph into cuz I’m feelin’ restless..lol

We collide
like boulders
furiously skipping
down a treacherous
mountain side

Relentlessly smashing
against one another
until blood ebbs out
of broken callouses

Now my head throbs
my face is swollen
with spent emotion
fingers trembling
past control

The storm is passing
and I am left
beached on the shore

Sinking
reaching
searching

In the dark depths
I feel your stare
piercing the waters
as I slowly plummet

Wondering where
I will bottom out
knowing you will
be there
without a doubt

And I yet
will undeserving be
as you dive down
to rescue me

But let me choke
just a bit more
smiling as
I hit the floor

To much time flying high
causes my pupils 
to dilate  beyond
the circumference of my eyes

Somewhere
water drips

Faintly marking
the tiring evening

I tip toe towards
our room

Taking in
Your familiar form

With a sigh
and a smile

I linger at the doorway
for a little while…

thesealivesinme replied to your audio post: One of my favorite tracks that I recorded with…

Omg! You are amazing!!!!!

Thanks for taking the time to listen :)  Sometimes I think my followers just really prefer my poems…

secretedsins replied to your audio post: One of my favorite tracks that I recorded with…

Wow. Beautiful. Calls to mind Morcheeba. And, as a reference point, I fucking love Morcheeba. I’d no idea.

I love, love, love Morcheeba…Huge compliment :)

Hey everyone, sorry I’ve been away for a couple of days.  I am working on recording right now.  For some reason when I am working on actual music and melodies my brain switches over from poetry mode to singer mode and I find it hard to do both at once.  More poems coming soon and a song too :)

So excited to be featured on Spilled Ink today. Honestly, I didn’t know there was such a feature. Thank you so much guys!!!

Bathed in you
I can do anything
supernatural light
caresses my skin

Song rises up
all around me
my arms raise up
released from gravity

Voices well up behind me
a wave pulling forward
to stay in this moment
is to hold forever in my hand

No…no…no…
I don’t want to land

Because when the doors close
and I step out into the world
I will be cold
hope lessened
and unsure
of your presence anymore…

Today I will accept
that you love me
unconditionally
I will not beat myself down
again and again
with a whip
of broken esteem
and disconnected emotion

I will be
and embrace me
I will loosen
the tight fingers
constraining my neck
I will unfurrow my brow

I will open my eyes
unto a horizon of light

And I will breathe deeply
exhaling the death
residing in my lungs

And I will rise
for I have finally
let you come
and give me love

The world is singing
outside my window
the wind whispers
sweet nothings
of freedom and hope
in light and shadow

My soul is seeping
out of my pores
searching for
a different tomorrow
driven by empty darkness
to bright promise

I’ve been blessed to experience a flurry of new followers in the past few days.  I am humbled by your attentions and extend a warm welcome to my inner world.  Time to post a song soon…